


Those Earth Rabbits

by UnmovingGreatLibrary



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 09:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13143699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnmovingGreatLibrary/pseuds/UnmovingGreatLibrary
Summary: Ringo and Seiran head to Eientei to formally defect to the Earth. Unfortunately for them, the first person they run into isTewi.





	Those Earth Rabbits

**Author's Note:**

> Touhou Secret Santa gift for [rnarchhare](http://rnarchhare.tumblr.com), who asked for pretty much anything to do with the rabbits. Enjoy!

_”Eagle Ravi Leader, this is Eagle Ravi Blue. Do you read me?”_

_”Yeah, I hear you. But I already told you that we don't need to use code names anymore.”_

Seiran huffed and ducked behind some foliage as she composed her telepathic reply. _”Just because we're living on Earth right now doesn't mean we should lower our standards.”_

_”Uh-huh.” _Ringo didn't sound convinced. _”Anyway, is the coast clear?”___

_”Stand by. Moving to establish visual contact!”_

Seiran pushed the underbrush aside and crept forward. This deep in the Forest of the Lost, there wasn't much of it to speak of. The towering bamboo blocked out most of the sunlight, leaving the smaller plants to fight for what they could get. Having so little cover really didn't help her nerves, but she tried to pace herself anyway, sneaking along the hillside with slow, deliberate care. When she reached an outcropping, she flattened herself against it and peeked over.

Past a hundred or so meters of bamboo, she had a pretty good view of Eientei. The manor looked as placid as ever, but she kept an eye on it for a few minutes just to be sure. _”Eagle Ravi Leader, I've acquired a line of sight to the target. The perimeter is unsecured.”_

_”Hey, great. I'll be up in a few.”_

Both rabbits had been in a recon unit, but the difference in stealth ability couldn't have been any bigger. Seiran could hear Ringo trudging through the forest long before she arrived. It didn't do a thing to soothe her already-jumpy nerves, and by the time Ringo stepped into view, she'd flattened herself against the rock to hide from the many attackers that she was certain were watching them from the depths of the forest.

“Hey,” Ringo said, raising a hand to her in greeting. “Good work. Ready to head down?”

“I... well, I guess so. I really don't know about this, though...”

Ringo sighed and opened her mouth to reply, only to be cut off by a voice from behind her. “Don't know about what?”

Ringo stiffened up in surprise. Seiran jerked upright, hands fumbling at her sides for weapons that she hadn't actually brought.

Behind Ringo, a smaller rabbit watched all of this with a look of amusement, one ear cocked up in the air. She seemed completely oblivious to Seiran's violent intentions. In a cheerful, conversational tone, she offered, “The mansion isn't expecting any visitors today, you know.”

Seiran eyed the girl suspiciously, but she really didn't seem to pose a threat. She was short, with messy brown hair and droopy white ears, and she was wearing a pretty plain pink dress. About the least-intimidating rabbit Seiran had ever seen, and it would be easy to see if she had any weapons. “We aren't here on normal business,” Seiran said.

“Oh, huh. That'd make it _ab_ normal business, wouldn't it?”

“Yeah, well, it doesn't concern you!”

“Hmm.” The other rabbit clasped her hands behind her back, leaning in to peer over her. “Could you at least give me a hint?”

“Look.” Seiran fumed, her cheeks flushing a deep red in outrage. She crossed her arms and drew herself up to her full, diminutive height. “We're here to see the great sage, Lady Yagokoro! We don't have anything to say to some _earth rabbit_.”

She'd been expecting to drive off the intruder, but the earth rabbit didn't seem to mind the insult. If anything, she seemed pleased by it, smiling widely in response. “Oh, right, silly me! I should have known that two moon rabbits would be way too busy to talk to somebody like me.”

A moment passed in silence. “... nobody said we're moon rabbits,” Ringo said, in a voice of careful neutrality.

“Didn't need to. I know all the rabbits in the forest. And no offense, but you don't look like you're from hereabouts.”

Another few seconds passed in a silent standoff, until Ringo sighed. “Alright, yeah, you're right, we're moon rabbits. We're not here to hurt anybody though, I swear. We've just been living in Gensokyo for a while, and we wanted to talk to Lady Yagokoro about making it, you know. Uh. A bit more permanent.”

“Oh, defectors, huh? Don't hear that every day.” Tewi nodded to herself, then let out a low, regretful whistle. “See, it's lucky you ran into me first. Anybody else at Eientei would have skinned you alive.”

Seiran's eyes went wide, and she took a fearful step back. “Th-they would?!”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. Miss Yagokoro's orders are to shoot moon rabbits on sight. Kaguya's already got dibs on making a pair of rabbit skin gloves.”

Ringo studied her face skeptically. “Reisen wouldn't go along with that.”

“After that stunt with the big robot spider?” Tewi shook her head with a chuckle. “I think she's planning to make a rabbit's foot necklace.”

Ringo couldn't find a counterargument to that. She went quiet, considering the situation. The other rabbit stepped forward, waving a hand dismissively. “You don't need to worry about that, though! You ran into me, after all. I can help you clear all of that up.”

“You can?” Seiran nearly melted with relief.

“Oh, yeah, sure thing. I might be a _mere_ earth rabbit, but I know a thing or two. The name's Tewi Inaba, and you could say I run these parts.” Tewi stepped forward, grinning more widely, and rested a hand on each of their shoulders. “You're in good hands, ladies! There are just a few teeny things you'll need to do first...”

* * *

Tewi had brought them to a slope in the bamboo forest, overlooking a long, wide hollow. On the hillside across from them, a wooden shack was nestled in between walls of bamboo. A footpath led down from it, but it was so ancient that it was little more than a meter-deep rut on the hillside.

Tewi crouched down into a nice spot overlooking this whole scene and waved them forward. “See that house over there?”

“Yeah, but I don't see how this is supposed to help us,” Seiran said.

“Hey, just trust me! Do I look like I'd waste your time?” Tewi held a hand to her chest and nodded solemnly. “Here's the thing: The girl who lives down there is Princess Kaguya's mortal enemy. What I'm thinking is, if you sneak down there and steal a bow out of her hair, that'd make a pretty good gift to Kaguya, don't you think?”

“A bow?” Ringo asked skeptically. “Do you really think that'll be enough?”

“Well, it will be enough for _her_. The way I figure it, you'll need to get a present for everybody at Eientei. Cover all your bases, you know? But this is a good start. … so! Who's going to be the lucky one to sneak down there?”

Ringo and Seiran exchanged a glance. “I can do it,” Seiran said. “I'm used to this kind of thing.”

“Didn't want to volunteer you, but yeah,” Ringo agreed. “Just... be careful, okay? You can't do much if you get stabbed by some weird hermit.”

“She's not really the type to stab you,” Tewi offered cheerfully. “If anything, she'd bake you alive.”

Seiran hesitated. She glanced from the shack, to Ringo, and back to Tewi. “… I want to talk to Ringo in private first.”

“Huh? Oh, sure?” Tewi gave an expansive shrug, then turned her back on the two, glancing back to them over her shoulder. “I'm not the one getting hunted by a moon princess, after all. Take your time!”

“… right.” Seiran grabbed Ringo's arm and tugged her away, going well down the hillside before she spoke just to be safe. “Do you really think we can trust this girl?”

“I was kind of wondering that, myself,” Ringo admitted. Sometime during the walk, a stalk of grass had found its way between her lips, and she gave it a thoughtful twiddle. “But if she just wanted us dead or something, this seems like a pretty roundabout way to do it, doesn't it?”

“Well...” Seiran's paranoia wasn't soothed that easily. “I guess so,” she admitted.

Ringo nodded, looking more confident by the second. “Us rabbits need to stick together. Besides, if she turns on us, we outnumber her.”

 _That_ did help calm Seiran's nerves. “Right! You're right. We have numerical superiority! We can crush that earth rabbit if she tries anything!”

“Uh-huh. Save the fighting for if we need it, though. For now, let's focus on getting that bow.”

* * *

_"Eagle Ravi Blue, beginning infiltration!"_

Ringo didn't respond, but from her observation spot at the edge of the forest, she jabbed a thumbs up above the foliage. Seiran sighed to herself. Ringo had never been very disciplined even when they were in the Defense Corps, and now she was even more laid-back. It hurt every iota of professionalism in Seiran's body.

She crept forward, out of the underbrush and into the clearing around the shack. It didn't take long to find her target. A sharp thudding sound had been echoing from around the house for quite a while, and easing forward until she could see around the corner, Seiran found the source. Mokou was hunched down over a low stump, axe in hand. On one side was a pile of fresh-cut wood. As Seiran watched, Mokou hefted a piece out of it, lined it up on the stump, and split it with a single forceful swing of the axe. A chunk of firewood thudded to the ground on either side of the stump, and Mokou crouched down to grab them.

Seiran knew an opening when she saw it. She took a careful, silent step forward. _"I have the target in sight! Moving in for acquisition!"_

_"Uh-huh. Be careful."_

Seiran was already too focused on her goal to reply. Mokou tossed the split wood into a small pile to her other side, then grabbed another chunk and lined it up on the stump. Behind her, her long hair swayed with every motion... and in it, the bows that Seiran was here for. She hesitated for a moment, trying to get a feel for Mokou's movements, her hand flexing by her side as she pictured how to snatch one off. Once she'd made up her mind, she eased forward to make her attempt.

She'd barely moved two centimeters before Mokou spoke up. "Kaguya send you?"

Mokou was still facing the other direction. She didn't even seem to be paying attention, nor did she slow down as she split the piece of wood. Seiran stared at her back in disbelief. “... what?”

“A rabbit sneaking up on me kind of speaks for itself.” Mokou split the piece of firewood and tossed the resulting chunks aside, then finally turned around to inspect Seiran. The axe swung up to rest over her shoulder. “It's been a while since she's sent assassins, though. I guess the princess is too lazy to do these things herself, huh?”

“Nobody sent me here! I'm...!” Seiran stopped mid-sentence as she realized she was explaining herself to a scraggly-looking hermit. A scraggly-looking hermit armed with an axe. It was an outdated weapon even on Earth, so there was certainly no reason for _her_ to fear it. She smirked to herself and jabbed a finger up at Mokou. “I'm here to take one of your bows! If you surrender, I promise you'll be unharmed!”

“Uh-huh. Surrendering'd take all the fun out of it. You wanna do this here, or head into the woods where there's more cover?”

Seiran crossed her arms. “Here is as good as anywhere.”

“Suit yourself.”

Mokou didn't rush into things. She lowered the axe from her shoulder and gave it a casual toss to the side. She arched her back and rolled her shoulders a few times to limber up. Then, she spread her arms, and jets of white-hot fire blossomed from her back, forming into flickering wings behind her.

Seiran immediately realized the magnitude of her mistake.

* * *

Calling what happened next a 'fight' would imply that it was much less one-sided than it actually was. 'Desperate escape attempt' was much more fitting. Even abusing her abilities to their fullest, Seiran could barely even manage to make Mokou slow down—shoot half a dozen bullets into her from behind, and she'd just shrug them off and keep right on chasing. The following ten minutes were a blur of fire and shouting, and Seiran could only remember it in bits and pieces. She'd taken the pursuit into the forest at some point, which had let her at least lose Mokou for a few seconds now and then. Against all odds—and her better judgment—she'd even managed to snag a bow somewhere in there.

By the time she lost Mokou and made her way back to the other two, she was achy, tired, and lightly singed in places. She slumped down against a tree and tossed the bow toward Tewi. “There. Will that do it?”

“Oh, hey, good job,” Tewi said, nodding approvingly. “I didn't think you had it in you.”

“Then why'd you ask her to do it?” Ringo asked.

“Hey, the important thing is that she pulled it off, right? Besides, that was the tough one. The other gifts will be a lot easier. Speaking of which, it's a bit of a walk to the next one. We should get moving.”

* * *

“So, you see the woman guarding the gate up there?”

It really had been a long walk, a sweeping arc that had taken them past the edge of the human village and around the other side. They'd ended up on the shores of a lake, looking uphill at an imposing scarlet mansion, surrounded by a tall wall. There _was_ a woman leaning by the gate—tall, redheaded, wearing a uniform but otherwise unimpressive. Seiran took a long look at her and nodded. “She's hard to miss, but what about her?”

“That's the mansion's gatekeeper, but she's also the gardener. I just happen to know that she's growing a plant called goldthread in the garden. It's pretty great for medicine, apparently. So, anyway, if you could get a few of the roots, they'd probably make a pretty good peace offering to Eirin.”

“Is this one going to set me on fire too?” Seiran grumbled.

“Nope! She isn't very good with magic. _But_ , she's got really good sight, so I doubt you'll be able to sneak past her.”

“So we trade for them?” Ringo suggested.

“Wellllll, she gets free room and board with her job, so I don't think she's hurting for much. But don't worry! I have you covered.” Tewi stepped forward and gave Ringo a firm slap on the back. “She's a martial artist. I bet she'll warm up to you pretty quick if you spar with her!”

“Sparring,” Seiran repeated, skeptically.

“Sure. After getting chased around by Mokou, that shouldn't be a big deal, right?”

Seiran almost wanted to point out whose fault it was that she got chased around in the first place, but let it slide for the moment. Tewi did have a point. Sparring sounded pretty tame by comparison.

“I'll do it,” Ringo said.

Seiran glanced to her. “Are you sure?”

“Sure. You did the last one, right? Plus I can have a few dango before I head out there and power up.”

“See?” Tewi said. “This should be no problem at all.”

“I guess so...” Seiran conceded. “But if Ringo gets set on fire or something, I'm holding it against you.”

“Meiling's nice! Besides, it isn't like getting punched and kicked is any threat to a mighty moon rabbit, right? It'll be fine.”

* * *

It took the better part of an hour for Ringo to prepare a small pile of dango for her to eat before the battle. Seiran had to admit, she wasn't sure how Ringo's abilities worked, and she'd be pretty skeptical about the whole 'power up by eating food' thing if her superiors in the Defense Corps hadn't been the ones who'd told her about it. Even knowing about it, it felt kind of surreal watching her prepare for a fight by munching on half a dozen skewers of dango.

When she was ready, the three rabbits walked up the final leg of the path to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, with Ringo taking the lead. Meiling saw them coming as soon as they stepped from the forest, and once they were close, she raised a hand in greeting. “Good afternoon! Er, I don't think they told me that any rabbits were going to be visiting. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Yeah, you could say that, I guess,” Ringo said. She chomped down the final dango on a skewer, then waggled the now-empty stick toward Meiling. “I hear you like to fight?”

“I'm a martial artist,” Meiling agreed with a proud nod. “... why?”

Ringo tucked one end of the skewer between her lips and sighed, like she couldn't believe what she was about to say next. “I want to spar with you.”

Meiling blinked down at her in surprise. “You do?”

“Yeah. I might not look like it, but I'm not half bad in a fight, myself.” Ringo lifted a fist with the rest of her remaining dango in it, one stick clenched between each pair of fingers. After giving them an appraising look, she chomped down on a green tea-flavored one, then gave the air a demonstrative punch with her free hand.

Seiran didn't know much about punches, but it looked like a pretty strong one. Maybe there was something to the dango thing, after all.

“Oh, huh... Well, a match does sound nice! Today's been kind of slow.” Meiling glanced uncertainly to the dango. “Do you need to finish your snacks first?”

“Nope, they're how I fight. Eating powers me up.”

“Oh! I've never heard of that fighting style before. This should be interesting! Sure, we can spar if you want!”

“Good.” Ringo thoughtfully gulped down a strawberry-flavored dango, then took a step back to give them some room. “Whenever you're ready. Don't hold back, earthling. The moon doesn't go easy when it comes to fighting styles.”

Meiling perked up, beaming. “Gotcha!”

Meiling took a deep breath and drew her limbs in, muscles clenching throughout her body as she drew up into a fighting form. Ringo lowered her stance, her skewer-filled hand behind her, the other clenched in a fist in front of her. A moment of pregnant anticipation filled the air.

A green blur flashed across the space between them, and it took Seiran's brain a few seconds to catch up with her eyes and realize that _that was Meiling_. What happened next was so fast that she couldn't even begin to guess what happened. There was an unfortunately meaty-sounding thud. A yellow-and-orange blur shot off across the ground, and only resolved into Ringo after it had tumbled and bounced for half a dozen meters.

“Oh, hey!” Tewi shouted toward her. “I forgot to mention she's part-dragon!”

* * *

“Are you sure you're okay...?” Meiling asked, crouching down to help Ringo up from the ground. Seiran hesitated before hurrying over to help her, if only because it kind of felt like a spatula might be more useful at this point.

Ringo groaned and wiped her mouth off with the back of a hand. Something in her body creaked, but she nodded. “Um. Yeah. I just didn't really expect the part where you punched me so high in the air that I could see over the trees. … or the part where you knocked me over and then kicked me again before I hit the ground. Most of it, really.”

“Well, um, for what it's worth, you did pretty well for yourself! Like, um.” Seiran had never exactly been a people person, but even she could see Meiling straining to come up with examples. “You... rolled with the punches really well!”

“Huh, did I?”

“You did! You're an expert at getting punched...!”

“You didn't need to hit her so hard, though!” Seiran interjected. She stepped between the two and leaned in accusingly toward Meiling. It would have been more imposing if she weren't barely larger than one of Meiling's thighs. “You could have hurt her! You're lucky I'm not armed, or I'd purify you for being s—“

Ringo rested a hand on Seiran's shoulder and shot her a reassuring, if shaky, smile. “Hey, I asked for the fight, okay? It wasn't her fault. I got what was coming to me.”

“... well, I know, but...” Ringo leaned forward and tugged her into a hug, and Seiran melted, the tension draining out of her. She sighed and glanced up to Meiling. “I'll let it slide this time since she's okay.”

Meiling nodded uncertainly and glanced to Ringo. “Er, why did you want to fight, anyway? I don't want to be rude, but you don't really seem like a martial artist...”

“This girl...” Ringo pointed back over her shoulder, only to pause when she realized that Tewi had disappeared sometime during the fight. That was a problem to solve later. “... somebody told me that if I sparred with you, you might like me enough to let me take some, uh, goldthread root from your garden.”

“Oh... Well, you don't need to fight me for that! I've got more than I know what to do with anyway, actually. Ehe, um. A mansion full of youkai doesn't really use medicine, but I like to keep it on hand anyway, you know? You never know when it will be handy...!”

“For _what_?”

Meiling stared at Ringo blankly for a moment before moving on. “... so you just want some goldthread?” She stepped over to the gate and gave it a tug. It slid open with a metal-on-metal squeal. “Come in! We can dig all you want.”

* * *

“I don't see what's so special about this stuff,” Seiran said, peering into the sack of goldthread roots. “It looks gross.”

“I mean, if you think about it, Earth medicine has to deal with death and stuff. That makes it pretty gross to begin with, don't you think?” Ringo countered.

“Who knows if this stuff is even medicine? It's obvious that rabbit wanted you to get beat up back there. For all we know, she's trying to get us killed.”

“Eh, I doubt it. I think she's just sore about you insulting her.”

“… well, even so. If that's the case, we need to make an example out of her. We won't survive down here for long if everybody thinks we're easy marks.”

“It's not going to make us any friends if we start attacking people without a good reason, either.” Ringo pushed the mansion's front gate open with a sigh, then held it open for Seiran to step through. “We're not attacking her, okay? We can have a ta—“

“Attacking who?” Tewi's voice came from behind them. She was leaning against the mansion's outer wall, her arms crossed behind her head, with an expression like she'd just been casually waiting on them the whole time.

“Attacking _y_ —“

Seiran was cut off rather quickly, as one of Ringo's hands slapped over her mouth. Ringo stepped forward to take the lead. “We're not attacking anybody, but... look. It's kind of obvious you've just been having us do stuff that will get our butts kicked. Not gonna lie, we kind of deserved it after the way Seiran talked to you earlier. I'm sorry, alright? We're still getting used to living down here. So, do you think we can move on from this and get along?”

Tewi frowned to herself, seeming to weigh this thoughtfully. After a moment, she recoiled with a look of pained shock. “You... you thought I was _tricking_ you?”

“Well, yeah, it's kind of obvious.”

Tewi's ears drooped, and she held a hand earnestly over her chest. “What kind of rabbit would I be if I played tricks on my fellow rabbits?”

Seiran muttered her estimation of what kind of rabbit Tewi was. Fortunately, Ringo's hand clamped own more tightly over her mouth, making sure that none of the worse bits escaped her mouth. “So this last thing you're sending us for,” Ringo asked, “isn't going to get us hurt?”

“Nope!”

“We're not going to get punched?”

“Uh-uh.”

“And nobody's going to chase us?”

“Not a soul!”

Ringo studied Tewi's face. “You _swear_?”

“Rabbit's honor! It's the easiest one, even! You just need to buy something from a store. I'll tell you what, just so there aren't any hard feelings between us, I'll even give you the money to cover it. How's that sound?”

Even Seiran couldn't find any flaw with that plan, although she still gave it her best attempt. She pulled back from Ringo's hand, frowning to herself. “Well... that sounds okay, sure. What do we need to do?”

* * *

The shop wasn't much to look at. It was a creaky-looking building along the path between the Forest of Magic and the village. Its modest yard was full of human technology that looked both exotic and old-fashioned to Seiran's eyes, and so many tree branches hung overhead, it kind of looked like the forest was trying to reclaim its territory.

Tewi stopped right at the edge of the clearing to lean on a discarded appliance. “This is the place,” she said, and gave the device a solid thump. “The shop sells a lot of outside world goods, and I just happen to know it has some medical textbooks. Reisen could probably use some of those.”

Seiran glanced to the shop, then back to Tewi. It all seemed entire too easy, but she couldn't think of how it might be a trap. “That's it?” she asked. “There isn't anything else we need to know about?”

“Nope! This one should be really simple!” Tewi reached inside her dress and fished out a coin purse. When she opened it up, Seiran got a quick glimpse of its contents—the thing was nearly filled to bursting. Tewi counted out a meager few coins and offered them over. “Oh! Well, there's one thing. Whatever you do... don't ask him about the stuff in the books, okay?”

Seiran scooped up the coins and eyed Tewi. “... why not?”

“Oh, don't worry about it!” Tewi shot her a reassuring grin and waved the worries away. “His name's Rinnosuke, he's harmless. As long as, you know... you don't ask him questions. Just remember that and you'll be fine!”

“... right.” Seiran pocketed the money and glanced to Ringo. “Let's get this over with.”

* * *

Seiran had to admit, even after going inside the store, she couldn't see any way that this could be a trick. She felt a little guilty. Maybe she'd been suspicious of Tewi for nothing. The place was crowded with junk-filled shelves, with gaudy signs covering half the walls. It was dusty and smelled lightly of mildew, but it didn't seem _dangerous_. The book collection was an eclectic mess that overflowed a few bookcases and continued wherever there had been extra shelving space, but even then, finding the medical books was easy.

Rinnosuke had been watching them curiously after greeting them when they walked in, and he gave the two his full attention as they approached the counter. He lifted one of the books and brushed his fingers along its cover, like he was having second thoughts about selling it. “Medical references? What do two rabbits need with these?”

“We're just buying them for a friend,” Ringo said.

“Ah. I see.”

Seiran handed the money over, and Rinnosuke gave the coins a cursory glance. “Well, it's the largest sale I've made this week, so I won't pry into it too much. Will there be anything else?”

“This'll do just fine,” Ringo said. She grabbed the books and started pulling them across the countertop, but Seiran darted forward and rested a hand on them.

 _”Wait a second,”_ Seiran said telepathically, making eye contact with her. _”Tewi made a big show of warning us that we shouldn't ask him about what's in the books, right?”_

_”Uh-huh.”_

_”What do you bet she was trying to trick us again? We don't know anything about human medicine! Maybe these books are fake! I bet she was trying to make sure we didn't ask about the books, because that's her trick!”_

Ringo nodded thoughtfully, her eyes trailing down to the stack of books. _”Now that you mention it... that does make some sense.”_

After watching the two rabbits stand in complete silence for a few seconds, Rinnosuke was starting to look concerned. “... is something wrong?”

“Huh? Oh. No! It's fine. But, er...” Seiran tugged the top book off the stack and started flipping through it. It was full of diagrams of human guts, which was a pretty disgusting thing to fill a book with. It was almost enough to make her reconsider living in such an impure land. She settled on one of the less gross-looking diagrams. “... tell me why human teeth fall out?”

Rinnosuke raised an eyebrow. “Why? You have the book right in front of you.”

“Just do it!” Remembering that rudeness was what had gotten her into this mess, she reluctantly added, “Please. I just want to check something.”

Rinnosuke frowned to himself and spent a moment in consideration. “Well, I have to admit, I've given the subject some consideration. Do you know that one of the most common recurring nightmares is about the dreamer's teeth falling out? It hardly seems coincidental, if you ask me.” Rinnosuke sounded more confident now. He nodded to himself and pushed his glasses up his nose, then proclaimed, “I've theorized that the cause has nothing to do with simple biological processes. People have accepted those explanations for decades, but that's because the outside world is ignorant of spiritual matters. You see, brushing your teeth is actually a ritual, meant to placate the kami of your teeth so that...”

* * *

“That's stupid! There's no way that poking needles into people can make them better! You need... _medicine_ and things!”

“Ah.” Rinnosuke shook his head, a pitying smile on his face. “You're right, but not for the reasons that you think. It's sad, sometimes, seeing how closed-minded people can be. No, acupuncture works, but not for the commonly-accepted reasons. You see, your soul circulates through your body throughout the day. If there's a blockage in your internal pathways, then evil spirits can—”

Ringo cleared her throat, and Rinnosuke stopped mid-sentence. She'd taken a seat on a stack of old newspapers along the wall, and she now looked very, _very_ bored.

A quick glance at the clock informed Seiran that she'd been arguing with Rinnosuke for an hour and a half.

“I don't mean to interrupt,” Ringo said, sounding too tired to hide her annoyance, “but it sounds like these books will work for what we need. Thanks for your help, Mister, uh...”

“Morichika,” Rinnosuke offered.

“Right, Morichika, yeah. … but I think they'll do for us. We'll warn Reisen about those, uh, inaccuracies you pointed out, though.”

Rinnosuke straightened up, a self-satisfied smile on his face. “Yes, that's all I ask. I just wanted you to be informed about what you were getting.”

“Everything you said is wrong, though! That's not how any of it w—!” Seiran's outburst was cut off by Ringo's hand on her wrist. Ringo tugged her away from the counter, and didn't stop until they were a dozen meters outside the shop's front door.

Ringo sighed and took a deep breath of the non-musty forest air. After a few seconds elapsed, she said, “She tricked us again.”

“She tricked...?” As the realization hit Seiran, she stiffened up, her ears perking up in annoyance. “She tricked us again! She _wanted_ us to ask him about it and get stuck listening to that guy for an hour!”

“Mmhm.” Ringo let out a low sigh and hefted the books. “We got what we need anyway. Let's head to Eientei and get this over with.”

* * *

“Lady Yagokoro, Great Sage of the Moon,” Ringo said, in the most serious tone Seiran had heard her use since that time they'd been caught eating peaches on garrison duty. She kowtowed down until the tips of her fuzzy ears touched the floor. “Please accept these gifts as a token of our appreciation.”

Eirin, Kaguya, and Reisen were all gathered in the main shared room of Eientei, staring down at the two in various states of confusion. Tewi hadn't shown her face since they'd escaped Kourindou, and Seiran didn't think that was much of a coincidence.

Eirin frowned down at the collection. “A sack, a bow, and a stack of dusty books. Just what kind of gifts are these supposed to be?”

Ringo only let her look of panic show for a moment before she recovered. “For Lady Kaguya, a bow ripped from the hair of her nemesis, Fujiwara no Mokou.”

“Oh! That _is_ one of her bows.” Kaguya plucked it up from the floor and turned it over in her hands. “And you stole it right off of her head?”

“I did,” Seiran said. Through gritted teeth, she added, “She nearly fried me.”

“Oh, yes, I'm sure she was furious.” Kaguya sounded like she adored the very idea. “This is lovely. Thank you.”

That seemed like a good sign. Ringo opened the sack just enough to show off its contents. “And for Lady Yagokoro, we bring—“

“Goldthread,” Eirin finished for her. “About sixty grams of it, if I had to guess.”

“Er. Well, yes.”

Eirin gave a single nod of approval. “It _is_ hard to get in Gensokyo, and that much should last us for a few months. Thank you.”

“And, uh, for Reisen…” Ringo pushed the stack of books toward Reisen, then hesitated, glancing to Seiran. _”Why does a rabbit need books about human medicine, anyway?”_

_”I... I don't know! Maybe she caught something from them?”_

“... some, uh, medical books,” Ringo finished uncertainly.

“Oh, huh.” Reisen crouched down to pick one up, then flipped through it. She wrinkled her nose. “It smells kind of old.”

The two rabbits on the floor stayed tactfully silent.

“... useful, though. It's a lot less outdated than any of the medical stuff from the village, at least. Thanks.”

The two rabbits on the floor froze up, neither daring to speak for a moment. Seiran's mouth unfroze first. “Anyway, we want to live here! I'm tired of the moon! They boss us around all day and treat us like second-class citizens!”

“We _are_ second-class citizens,” Ringo corrected her, then added, “I just like it here on Earth, myself. Don't see much reason to go back.”

Eirin crossed her arms and peered down at them. Seiran suddenly had a very good feeling of what a germ felt like beneath a microscope. “Udonge,” she said. “These rabbits are the two who attacked you during the Lunar invasion, aren't they?”

“Huh?” Reisen looked over from inspecting her new books. “Oh. Yes, they are, master.”

Eirin considered that, but not for long enough to soothe Seiran's nerves. “Then no. When Reisen came to us, she was a recent deserter who'd stolen a lunar veil just to escape, and she didn't pose any threat to us. You two tried to kill one of our own barely two years ago. A few gifts aren't enough to make amends for that.”

“But…!” Seiran jerked up from the floor, staring at Eirin in a mixture of shock and outrage. “We really mean it! We were just following orders!”

“I'm sure you were, but my mind is made up. Maybe after a few more years of peaceful relations.”

“But we need somewhere to stay on Earth!”

“Plenty of lesser youkai manage it. I'm sure you'll figure it out.”

Seiran's teeth clenched, but she didn't even realize that her anger was bubbling over until Ringo rested a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it's okay. We've made it this far, it can't be that hard to figure out how to live down—“

“That stupid rabbit!” Seiran blurted out. She threw her hands into the air, ears flattening down against her head in annoyance. “This is all her fault!”

Eirin shot her a quizzical look. “Reisen?”

“No, that… that _earth rabbit_! She said if we brought these things, you'd let us stay, but she...” Seiran was deep enough into rant mode that she could barely keep her thoughts orderly anymore, so she gave up on it, letting them tumble from her mouth as soon as they were formed. She thrust a finger toward Mokou's bow accusingly. “I got set on fire stealing that damn thing!”

“She… did, yeah,” Ringo said, resting a soothing hand on Seiran's shoulder.

“Ringo got punched through a wall!” Seiran shrieked. “ _I listened to an old guy talk about teeth for half an hour!_ ”

“I'm sorry for your difficulties, but they aren't our problem,” Eirin said.

The two rabbits stayed rooted to the spot for a moment. Seiran took the opportunity to think of some choice insults, which she almost got to deliver before Ringo rose to standing. “We'll just… get out of your hair, then,” she said. “Sorry to bother you and all that.”

The pair turned to leave, but they barely got three steps before a soft sound disrupted the silence behind them. Glancing back, they found Reisen bent over, a finger crooked in front of her lips and holding back soft snickering.

Every eye in the room turned toward her in a matter of seconds. Eirin raised an eyebrow. “Udonge, is something about this funny?”

“A-ah, no, it's just… well, yes. A little.” Reisen straightened her posture and fussed with her tie for a moment as she calmed herself down, looking just a little self-conscious. “I'd... like to disagree, master. I think it's safe to let them stay.”

Eirin raised an eyebrow. “You decided that quickly?”

“I... yes.”

“And you're sure about this?”

“I wouldn't bet against it.”

“Even though they attacked you during the lunar invasion?”

“They were just following orders.”

The sudden turnabout clearly annoyed Eirin. She glanced back to Kaguya. “Princess, your thoughts?”

“I trust Inaba,” Kaguya said, smiling, and glanced to the two. “Besides, I think that some new pets would liven things up a little, don't you?”

Eirin weighed the evidence for slightly longer this time, then capitulated with a shake of her head. “Very well. I'll trust you on this. If they cause any problems, though, I'm counting on you to clean it up, Udonge.”

“That was going to happen either way,” Reisen said tiredly, then turned to the two newcomers. “… but, er, welcome to Eientei, I guess.”

“… thanks?” Seiran said. She was still confused by the entire exchange that had just taken place.

So was Ringo, apparently. Reisen turned and led them down one of the mansion's long hallways, and Ringo waited until they were out of earshot of the others to so, “So, I'm grateful and all, but... why the change of heart?”

Reisen paused mid-step. “Ah. Er.” With a sigh, she explained, “It's pretty obvious that you were dealing with Tewi, and... don't take it the wrong way, but it sounds like Tewi spent the whole time stringing you along.”

“... so?”

“It's complicated. It's, er, Tewi. She can be...” Reisen paused to choose her words carefully. “… difficult, but if she messed around with you instead of trying to scare you off, I think that's her way of showing that she thinks you aren't a threat. … she doesn't do this kind of thing to her _enemies_.” She sounded the slightest bit jealous.

“Uh... huh. That doesn't make much sense to me, but I'll take your word for it.”

Reisen gave a lopsided smile. “Being an earth rabbit doesn't always make sense. You'll get used to it. Come on, let's get you settled in.”


End file.
